Two Girls = One Love

Happy New Year...once again, damn, can't get this regular blogging down to a pattern!

2012-01-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

SOOOOO Much has happened! last update was about my boobs and my pre-op appointment. I had the surgery on 12/8 and they are beautiful. I was worried for a, confused at my decision, because they seemed SO small. But actually they're perfect! I was released from all physical restrictions yesterday, which was 7 weeks since surgery. They didn't look this good in high school hahaha So we're adjusting. Cheryll says she feels like she's cheating on me because it feels like a different woman hahaha My healing has been great with the exception of the stray dissolvable stitch popping through which is so strange. I have very light scarring around the areola and down the center of the breast. The most obvious scar lines are under the breast (the anchor part) and no one sees that anyway. They look really good and best part is I can go braless this summer!!!!

Our puppy Romeo has gone through the wringer. He has a genetic disorder and his patellas (knee caps) luxate, meaning they pop out of position at the slightest movement. We learned this the hard way after two emergency visits to the vet. First was 11/25 and second was about two weeks after my surgery. We met with the recommended orthopedic surgeon who is affiliate with our vet office and decided to use him as Romeo's condition was worsening. The rescue we got him from wanted us to run around and get 2nd, 3rd opinions, from their other vets. I ultimately decided against this because a vet is a vet is a vet and will tell me/confirm the same things we know. We needed to get a specialist to review him and I wasn't comfortable if the regular doctor was going to do the surgery. The rescue kept saying they could find a cheaper alternative (about $1500-2000 less in cost) and that rehab wasn't a big deal, confine the dog for several weeks, etc. That was in exact opposite of what the original specialist told us. Just like humans getting knee or hip replacements, you want to get them moving within 24 hours and keep them moving within restrictions. So we had the first of two surgeries on 1/14, his hind right knee. The ortho and his wife (the rehab specialist) kept him at their home for a week to make sure he was ok and prepared to come home. We also get a life line and consistent weekly updates/visits with them for the life of the dog! Our rehab consists now of two walks a day for 10 minutes each where he must bare weight on the leg and walk normally. He's in a soft cast and looks pitiful hahaha and has to wear the cone of shame because he tries to mess with his cast. So far so good....about another 8 weeks before he gets the second surgery. He needs to be able to move better and our pockets need to recover lol

We are moving by end of February. We've been renting for the last 4 years in a town home that is walking distance from Jordan's elementary school. Next year she'll be in the middle school which is not walking distance to/from where we live now. And we only signed a 6 month lease extension so it's up on 3/1. This whole experience has been a bitch! My landlord, while we had a great relationship the past few years, is being a neurotic crazy woman lately. It's because I'm finally saying no to the things she wants to do. For instance, she wanted to re-list the house for sale just two weeks after my surgery, have me have the place in "show condition", clean/declutter, and while we're packing insists we put our boxes in the garage and out of the way. ummmm F U!! Bitch didn't I just tell you that I have to recover and have restrictions for the next 7 weeks???? I AM NOT THE OWNER! Also, I was pretty offended that she was told by the realtor (who I was kind enough to let in to look at the place just before and just after my surgery) we have clutter because I am a major OCD neat freak and keep this place IMPECCABLE! What renter/tenant gets the carpets cleaned every 3-6 months? replaces filters in heating/ac system every 3 months? replaces filter in fridge every 6 months? Not to mention the three toilets we fixed on our dime and time, or the hack jobs her step dad does that ultimately cost us all because she wants to save a penny (like the time he botched the electricity in the hallway while we were on vacation and we came home to the garage smelling like a dead body and our full size freezer being destroyed, losing hundreds of dollars as it needed to be thrown away with all the food we lost!!) Things like this is what I do because I believe you should take care of other peoples stuff better than your own. I allowed her to list the house the last time 8 months early and participated in showing the property myself several times. I even let someone come through to see the place after being pressured by her last realtor, on the day my daughter came home from having her eye surgery!!! WTF??? So she's doing things like calling A LOT, emailing A LOT, sending her step-dad over to do minor repairs like fixing up the little backyard we have... unannounced!!! He just shows up and starts plugging away in the backyard! Once it was a Sunday at 2pm...REALLY??? Back in December I pushed back and referred to our lease and told her she couldn't list the house until the earliest 30 days prior to the end of the lease as stated in the lease. This I'm sure is what set her off. I told her how I've been a GREAT tenant and was highly cooperative the last time around but the circumstances and situation now just aren't the same...she needs to back off!

We are looking at a place this Saturday that feels like the one. It's a two bedroom condo with hard wood floors and 1600sqft of living space all on one level...great for Romeo...it's beautiful!!! Fingers crossed that this is it! I just have that gut feeling that it is :-) And then we will move by 2/18 and good riddance of this place!

Tuesday is my last "official" date on payroll with my job. It's been nice...now comes the unemployment filing (yuck) and looking for a job once we move.

All of these life events have had me pretty low lately. I went to the doctor to talk about it yesterday and she thinks I'm severely depressed and started me on some stuff to help in the meantime of seeing a therapist again. These are ok/good things...I need something to change in me. Most days I don't get out much, I forget/don't want to eat, and just wanna sleep til 11am. I don't have this luxury...I have a family I have to be here for. I've lost 18 lbs since surgery. Feels good but is not healthy. I have been very sad and anxious about all these changes and I've kept it pretty much to myself. Mostly to my friends I'm this bubbly energetic thing all the time. Cheryll gets to see the other side and I want to make sure I'm not so broken for her anymore. So I think this is the responsible thing to do...seek help.

I couldn't start culinary school when they called this time around...day program and I needed to be here for Romeo. But I'm still on the list and hope a spot in the evening or weekend session opens up :-) I really don't want to lose momentum.

Obviously all these things have put the wedding planning on the back burner. I need to go back to work if we're gonna pull this off. Why does everything cost so damn much?? lol We had a GREAT idea though....our wedding planner, Heather of O.C.D. Events, posted a blog about doing a milk & cookies dessert at weddings using girl scout cookies. We were going to do this anyway...we don't want the whole traditional cake thing, we are doing a coffee/hot chocolate thing with milk & cookies. SOOOOO in the wake of all the girl scout controversy about their inclusion stance of transgender children stating "If a child is living as a girl, that's good enough for us. We don't require any proof of gender." and that California GS who was trying to get everyone to boycott cookies this year...we are purchasing anywhere from 50-75 boxes of cookies for our wedding! We will be supporting our little cousin who is a GS by purchasing from her, also supporting a local GS troop, AND making our dent in cookie sales this year in support of their inclusion policy! YAY!

Until next time...

Pre-Op Appointment Today!

2011-11-17T12:41:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited! I want to touch base on a few updates but want to start with my breast reduction surgery. It was finally approved on October 15th, after I had previously been denied. Let me back track for a bit and tell you why I want to have this surgery.

I have been heavy chested all my life. From the time I hit puberty, much younger than the average girl at the age of 9, I began rapidly growing breast tissue. By the time I was in the 7th grade I was wearing a C cup. I have struggled with back pain, sleep issues, chest compression issues, and large sizes lol for most of my life. Back in March of this year, 2011, I had this amazingly intense dream where I had breast reduction surgery, and I could feel the emotions, see my smaller breasts, etc. It was so real to me that when I woke up and realized it was just a dream...I cried so much. I talked to Cheryll about it and went to see my doctor to start investigating the process. I had my first appointment with the plastic surgeon on April 7th...Cheryll's birthday. From there the surgeon's office prematurely submitted my claim and I was denied by the insurance in late June. I quickly gathered up more of my medical records, got recommendation letters from all my doctors...made a second appointment to take updated photos to submit with the appeal. And on October 15th, the same day we decided on our wedding venue, when we came home that evening I had my letter of approval! YAY...so awesome! I am easily emotional to begin with but this whole process...as I'm nearing the date...I find myself even that much more sensitive and a bit overwhelmed. This is all I've known...and while the surgery is much needed and wanted...it's a little intimidating. I'm nervous and excited all at once.

I'm starting a video blog which I will post in YouTube and link here. I want to capture my experience for my mom and family mostly...but I don't mind sharing it with all of you either :-)

On the wedding front...we contracted the venue, wedding planner, have our officiant, all is on track. The culinary orientation went great also...I will start either full time or part time weekday evenings this upcoming February! Still hanging on at work. Today was supposed to be my last day but get this, they forgot to enroll me in the lay-off wave and now I was extended another two weeks hahaha We're going to Vegas for the weekend this weekend and I'm stoked! Never been there!! AND our save-the-dates are amazing!!! Sara + Ryan Photography rocked it as usual! Also got is a great printing deal and it was awesome! Check it out, I freaking love it!!!

Updates, Updates and MORE Updates

2011-10-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. This seems to be my usual tag line lol
Here's what I've been up to!

#1 - I SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!! I LOVE MY DRESS!! It is nothing like anything I thought I wanted. I tried on only 3 dresses before this one in the style I thought would fit the theme of our wedding. Sheath, beach-y, flow-y...they were not as flattering as the Vera Wang I fell in love with!! I insisted that I was not buying my dress at the first place I went to, on my first appointment, so Cheryll came with. I had my BFF Michelle there, her mom, Cheryll and Jordan. I tried the dress on for shits and giggles because I knew it was nothing like what I had my eye on from the beginning. I just couldn't help myself...the fabric would make any bride feel absolutely beautiful! I've never felt so comfortable being plus size. I feel absolutely wonderful in this dress! So yes, Cheryll saw it and now we're making her attire our surprise at the wedding lol

#2 - My new dress prompted a theme change in the wedding. This dress just doesn't fit into the backyard luau theme! The venue must fit the dress, right? lol I don't want to look out of place at my own wedding! So we searched private homes to see if something would fit our needs. My old boss even offered his backyard to us at no cost!! An amazing gift! Ultimately however, we were given a great deal at a beautiful hotel in San Diego that we just couldn't pass up. The wedding will be at The Estancia La Jolla!! Take a look at this gorgeous property...we're SOOOO excited!!!

Valet area

Evening on the property

Olive Lawn...where our ceremony will be!

#3 - Just over a month ago I was give my departure information at work. What a relief! I have to admit the anxiety I had been carrying somewhat dissipated. My last day in the office will be 11/17 but I remain on payroll through January and then receive more of a severance than I expected. I feel very lucky to have this gift of money that will go toward our wedding expenses and I am grateful for the down time to focus on my family through the holidays!

#4 - I was approved for my breast reduction!!! YAY!!! It's scheduled for 12/8 and covered by my insurance! This has been a long time coming!!! While I have the usual reservations about going under and the recovery process...I am looking forward to feeling better and sleeping better!!

#5 - I have an orientation scheduled for 11/8 for a culinary program in SD. I'm very excited to see what they have to offer. It's a program that is free for SD residents and I can complete full time or part time. I'm hoping that we can afford for me to start this sooner than later and be able to knock it out full time. I'm praying a lot about it. I just want to finally do something I truly love. Now is the time! I have been blessed with so many wonderful resources and opportunities!

So all in all...not bad huh?? Wedding planning is moving along....I know what's up with work....I feel pretty darn good :-)

Kinda...sorta...melancholy

2011-08-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm kinda sorta melancholy...I keep having these anxious moments of how the hell are we really pulling this wedding off in a year!! I'm out of a job soon, taking on the new opportunity to finish a culinary program...new puppy...Jo & Zoe to keep taking care of on top of maintaining what we've got to monthly!

Am I being unrealistic?? This makes me sad during a time when I should be nothing but happy! I keep thinking about how we want a house so bad...is it responsible to have a "wedding" when we don't even own any property? Is it responsible to save $$ toward one day when we could be saving it for a permanent residence? I wax and wane all the time!!

God...I know you listen and I know that there are bigger things to focus on...but if my dreams of having a wedding are truly unattainable, can you step in and tell me so? I know through you all things are possible! You can move mountains to make a path where there is none. Please provide me clarity and discernment as we traverse through this rough journey. I promise to do as you wish...your will be done above my own! I just really need your presence right now!

Our new baby boy!

2011-08-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we, a midst the gazillion things I always plan for us to do, stopped by an adoption event at a local shelter. Unbeknownst to many...we have been talking about adopting a pup for some time now. Everyday my sweets sends me links to puppies she finds online. So on this particular Saturday we wanted to see the huskies that Coastal German Shepard Rescue had for adoption.

By the time we arrived (20 minutes after the event began)...the one husky we were interested in had already been adopted...booooooo. So Cheryll and I just walked around taking in all the furry chaos ensuing and probably sulking a bit. Cheryll spotted a very sweet boy by the name of Arvin. He was in his crate with the other puppy they found him roaming the streets with on 7/15/11. He was so gentle and sweet...very calm. He reminded her of Babie. It took one question from me after I saw her interaction with him..."You want to take him home?" and she said "Yes!" so I said..."Go do the paperwork!".

And that was that! We have a new baby boy....WELCOME ROMEO!! Named for his loverboy tendencies :-)

He is so precious! And such a great boy!! Zoe is tolerating him...they are able to be in the same room with minimal stress lol. She is being very good too. Fingers crossed that they keep it up!!

This is her tolerating him lol

Yesterday's Epiphany

2011-08-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

So there's a local radio show here in San Diego that my BFF turned me onto. Yesterday I awoke to the news that one of the show personalities lost his mother in the middle of the night. She passed away somewhere between 11p-1a.

The show, minus the one affected, went on to talk about how wonderful his mother was. They talked about how much of her he embodied by his spirit, character. How some of his reactions, gestures, reminded them so much of her. How her legacy carries on through her children because in knowing any of them...you get glimpses of her.

This got me thinking about how much Jordan is so much like me. We have the same attitude, spunk, vivaciousness for life! So many people when they're around her remark how she is so much like me. Her smirks, smiles, sassy-ness. I admit...this used to make me feel so uncomfortable. God-forbid Jordan turn into my true mini-me. The horror! Why did this bother me so much?

So after listening to all the radio banter..I resigned myself to the fact that hey...I'm not half bad! And if there is anything we should leave our children with...if there is anything anyone can take away from my life and who I was, how I lived...what a blessing it would be for everyone to see bits and pieces of that as Jordan lives on!!

Isn't that a beautiful gift? That one day when people are reminiscing about me and my life, they can still be part of part of me...as Jordan will radiate my spirit! So while this is not true for all, but many, how awesome is that?? Don't miss me when I'm gone...share in my daughter's life and you will still have ME!

It's been a while...

2011-08-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hello all...gosh it's been a while!! I've been busy, but haven't we all? I know...terrible excuse :-/

I'm still working at the big conglomerate pharmaceutical company. Responsibilities and workload have dwindled. All other departments here are also facing the same downsizing and realignments we've been dealing with since last November. At times, I have a heavy anxiety about everything we need to accomplish over the course of the next year, all those obligations pending, like getting married, moving and facing new work all in the next 12-13 months!!! But this week in particular, I've made it a point to constantly remind myself of who I am, where I've been and how much more I am capable of! I am not that weak-hearted individual who cowers in the face of change and forgets that she comes from an infinite source of love and cannot fail!!

So new plans need to be made. Sure! Things are changing...quickly...but that's ok...it's always been OK!
When my departure from this job is set in stone...I'm looking forward to the new opportunities I'll have to recreate my destiny.

Cheryll is still on track to reach her career goals by the end of this year. While we had a minor set back there as well, because she fractured her right tibia and could not complete her training just yet, they think so highly of her that they kept her employed, on payroll, and she will finish by the end of this year! My baby is amazing!! She has perseverance and determination like no one else I know in my life!

I want to do something I love to do! My next steps toward that will be to take some culinary classes, get some formal training, if/when I get laid off. Of course, once I'm able to complete this step, there's absolutely no immediate money in the restaurant business hahaha So I will go back to an office job if I need to and do something on the side with my new training. I LOVE TO COOK! People love my food! I have some ideas on how to start up my own little side business. So we'll just have to wait and see!

Wedding plans are developing. We were gifted another engagement session with Same-Sex Photography by Sara+Ryan (http://samesexphotographyblog.com/) WHO ARE AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHERS! SERIOUSLY!!! So being the typical Libra I am, I am now having doubts about the photographer we contracted for the wedding!!! Sara & Ryan were so comfortable to be around...our pictures were incredible!! I'll put up a separate post about this session with some of the great pics they took! We are scouting venues, just trying to see what the cheapest way to go will be! And we're not totally closed off to going the destination route. Mexico is close and cheap! So another area we'll just have to wait and see about! We narrowed down the guest list...decided that Cheryll will be most comfortable in a vest/pant custom suit option (and she looks freakin' HOT in this!!) and I've narrowed down some dress options that are pretty darn cheap...so I'm excited about that.

(Cheryll trying on a random option)

Jordan had been on the east coast with family this summer. I miss her a lot more than I thought I would hahaha The house is quiet. We gave the guinea pig to a nice 11 year old girl who will take excellent care of her. We just didn't have the time in our schedules to devote to her. Now Zoe, our crazy pup, is acting really weird with Cheryll. We think she thinks that she's the next to go hahaha 1st Jordan left, then queso...so the dog is moping around and acting clingy with ME of all people hahaha

Mom came to visit and it was nice to get to spend time with her even if she stayed at my sister's place. That was a nice "privilege" to have them let her come over to the lesbians house hahaha Yes...still a source of contention But I've resigned myself to stop trying to bridge this gap they've created. I love my nephews and I will see them when they are 18 and can make decisions for themselves. I have no other choice anyway.

(This is my mom!)

I'm done ranting and raving...
THE END...for now :-)

Really? It's MARCH already??

2011-03-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

I swear there are some days when I feel like such a slacker! While I think I'm slacking, I have many friends who get exhausted hearing about the amount of things I get done in a day :-) The past month and a half has been trying. Life is good but it's throwing us curve balls. I am so happy and lucky to now have Cheryll with me along the way.

I did it! My former look, as I was trying to grow my hair out for this completely unattainable-without-a-weave hairstyle I envisioned for my wedding, is gone baby gone!

THIS is more ME :-)

Yup...chopped...gone...finis! I love my short hair...it matches my sassy personality!

In other news, looks like my current job is over by the end of June. At which time we will also be moving. Cheryll starts the police academy in April. There is way too much going on all at once! I am overwhelmed and spend a lot of my time when home alone crying about those things I can't control. I think this was a major motivator to finally chop the hair again...one thing I CAN control. I'm not sleeping well...mind is over burdened. So I think I'm going to start seeing a therapist again. I think that would be a responsible thing to do to help me manage all these highs and lows.

Until we move and I have another solid job, we have to put the wedding planning on hold. But we took our engagement photos this past Saturday and I'm super excited for those (great beach shots at La Jolla Cove in San Diego!!) We've tailored down a theme...we both love Hawaii...it's special to us. So we're going to try to throw a not-so-tacky Hawaiian luau for our guests. We've gotten some great ideas on-line. As soon as we get Heather on board and get the venue search going...I think we'll have a better understanding of how we'll be able to pull it off. I'd love a house that has enough space to have a dance floor and all the tables surrounding it.

Can we just get to October in one piece so I can start trying on dresses? :-)

1st vendor down....5gagillion@%*!xx to go!

2011-01-21T11:35:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday night we signed our first vendor contract for our wedding. We met with Glenn Currie and his wife, Bev. They were funny, engaging, and very accommodating.

We had seen his work displayed at the small wedding expo we attended at the beginning of the month. Cheryll gelled well with him and this was important. He reminds us of Crocodile Dundee hahaha and yes, he is from Australia. He met his wife on-line as well some 15+ years ago and decided to come to the US to be with her. Enters Bev. Bev provided me some great advice as a fellow mom. She has three adult children and it was nice to see how proud of them she is.

We ended up chatting with them for over an hour and a half. Saw tons of albums and their artistic interpretations. Heard countless stories of the numerous weddings they've photographed.

So it was a no brainer after reviewing the generous packages and options. We are getting 8 hours of coverage by Glenn himself, a 2nd photographer, a leather binded 10x10 album of 70 pictures from our wedding, a 15-20 minute fusion dvd montage of stills and video they take at throughout the 8 hours, an engagement session, a CD of 50 high-res engagement photos with release to print, a CD of approx 350 high-res photos from the wedding with release to print, 100 engagement photo cards for the reception (leave on the table letting the guests know when/where to go to see all the wedding photos online), and we never have to pay sitting/booking fees for any other photo session with them ever!

We are very happy and excited to work with them. They are very professional and fun!

Next...meeting with the wedding planner, our friend Heather, in March to sign a contract with her and get the ball rolling with the venue! YAY!!

To Plan or Not to Plan? THAT is the question!

2011-01-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

Had a semi-meltdown last Tuesday when I took it upon myself to call about an estate home I fell in love with in pictures. This home is perfect...but the price I was quoted was ASTRO-F'IN-NOMICAL!! hahaha MORE than having it at my beloved L'Auberge. Here started the tears....

I was so overwhelmed with variables of how to make this work, do we need to "stay" overnight, who are we trying to "help" with this arrangement, it's my f'in wedding - rent a hotel if you wanna come, yada yada yada. I can totally see how easy it is to become a bridezilla lol

I reached out to several friends...one of which had the time to talk and calm me down - thank you :-)! I also sent a text to my friends Justin and Heather of O.C.D. Experience and O.C.D. Events based out of LA. Heather called me back and just in our brief conversation was able to offer up some great advice/alternatives.

I got home and Cheryll had the "what's up with you?" look on her face so I sat down and told her that I was beginning to really stress out about the IDEA of ALL that needs to get done with the wedding planning. I know...I have time everyone says...but with everyone that tells me that there are equally as many people that are screaming "Get the ball rolling as soon as possible!" What's a girl to do?

Cheryll is the most amazing woman! Within reason, all she wants is to make me happy and help make my dreams come true. I received an official quote from my friends on what it would take to have them plan our wedding start to finish and all the services they provide. Wow! It's really involved! And when I ran down the list there were things I didn't even think of! Like ushers?? like holy crap this is A LOT of planning and appointments! My head wanted to explode.

I see this just as I see paying to get your house cleaned. It affords me the luxury of time and piece of mind. Time being with my family vs. cleaning the toilet, etc. If i'm not broke and can afford to pay the $$, why not?? Also the lady that helps us once in a while with the house really works hard, does a better job in 4 hours that I could ever, and really needs the money.

So planner, no planner? Someone I trust and the freedom not to carry the burden of every piece along the way? A chance to help a friend too...more exposure for their new company, networking for them in the San Diego area and the opportunity for them to grow their business? The answer is simple for us. Cheryll said yes, as long as I remember that she is the planner and I'm supposed to be stress free in this process lol!

So I'm gonna call Heather this week and we're gonna go with her! YAY! I'm super excited!!!

Our Fabulous First Adventures in Hetero-Bridal-Land

2011-01-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, January 8th, we attended the Kiss the Bride bridal expo at Pala Casino (about 35 minutes north of where we live). I've heard some horror stories about LGBT couples attending hetero bridal events so I braced myself for the worst. I prepared myself by outlining what areas we really wanted to focus on such as photography, dresses, caterers, and photobooths. If we really liked a vendor, then I would engaged in the "we're a same-sex couple, got a problem with that?" schpeal. I prepped Cheryll by promising that I would not drag her to hundreds of these events, just one or two, to get the "experience" and see what deals we could get.

This was, from what I learned, one of the smallest bridal events in the area. Good place to start! There were about 80 various vendors booked but when we arrived (around 11am, it was slated to start at 10) there were still many empty tables.

We all registered as brides (Michelle my BFF included lol) and when asked about our wedding dates and grooms I always chimed in "we have no grooms, this is MY bride" and pointed to Cheryll. This was kinda ok...no one gasped. We got a few ok's. Is it terrible that I sometimes love to put people on the spot? hahaha

While we're not stuck on gay owned/operated vendors one vendor in which I feel compelled to book gay only is our officiant. We met an officiant, a pastor, who when I asked how he felt about officiating a same-sex wedding replied with "hey, I have my beliefs, and you have yours, I don't have a problem with it." Ok buddy...not gonna cut it for me...sorry. Is it too much to ask to have someone marry us who TRULY believes in our union? I want our officiants beliefs to align with ours...that we are equal and deserve the same rights. I have someone in mind actually and she too is a lesbian so we'll see.

There were no caterers! We stopped at the only two bakers represented and I have to tell you...unimpressive! While one had samples with what looked like pretty innovative selections; I rather enjoyed the mango cake, they failed to deliver on aesthetics. Their portfolio had cakes I could bake and decorate. The other had images in a portfolio book that looked great, but what they displayed in way of cupcake arrangements on their table was less than perfect. The decorated boxes in between each layer of cupcakes was tattered and sloppy, their cupcakes - dry.

Only one florist was represented. They were part of an all encompassing outfit of event planner, venue, florist, etc. Not my thing but I did like one of their bouquets.

Of the three photobooth vendors, one in particular stood out. All Star Photobooth of Anaheim, owned and operated by Josh & Monica Johnson. They call themselves "the Fun Makers". Very personable and easy to talk to. We visited the other booths and there was just no competition. I was very happy with the quality of the photos and all the options Josh walked us through. He & his wife come to your event, one mans the booth and props while the other helps with the scrapbooking table. You can choose color or b/w photos and the options of 3, 5, or 8 picture montages. Their prices were not bad and they provide you a scrapbook for one of the two copies of pics each session spits out. This way, your guests can paste a copy of the pic they took and write a little something to to you. Loved the idea of having this be our guest book! They can also personalize the border of the pictures for your event and showed us samples where they used the same graphics/font from wedding invitations.

Click here for All Star Photobooth!

All Star Photobooth #1

All Star Photobooth #2

The non-competition photo.

We look confused because you couldn't see your image on the screen!

Only one photographer displayed engagement photos and wedding photos of same-sex couples. Glenn Currie Photography of Escondido. Again, very personable and knowledgeable. He reminded Cheryll of crocodile dundee hahaha He took time to speak with us and went out of his way to make us feel comfortable. None of the other photographers came across this way. His pictures were stunning! Also, he has some amazing deals going on if you book him by January 21st! I'm talking 8 hrs of coverage, 2 attendants, engagement shoot, engagement cards, 11x14 signature mat, leather formal album...for UNDER 2k!!! I'm kinda feeling it! lol He showed us an album of a same-sex wedding he just photographed in Palm Springs and the shots were creative and looked so special.

Click here for Glenn Currie Photography!

Me looking at hairstyle photos

The only dress shop there was Isis Bridal from San Diego. I did a little research on them before the show but was excited to see some design books from Maggie Sottero at their table. Maggie Sottero is one of my favorite wedding dress designers. The ladies at the table were WAY too engaged in their own conversation and no one said a word to me! This was a complete turnoff! There were at least 5-7 women behind the table; one would think someone would've said hello! I'm not writing them off completely, because they do have some very eclectic designers featured in their shop and I'm looking for something different.

Before the fashion show presented by Isis, the MC asked for 4 couple volunteers to participate in a kissing contest. I was like...Heck! Let's give 'em a run for their money! hahaha but it's just not Cheryll's thing to be THAT public. Here is a pic from the contest....typical!!

Me and Michelle waiting for the show

There were a few dresses I really liked. But OMG...the models sucked! Well, all but one really! Looked like something they threw together at the last minute and no one was paid for their time hahaha This one girl couldn't even smile...she looked miserable...she was even chewing gum! How crass! Also, they ALL held the dress as they walked which really annoyed me and looked so unprofessional. You could tell that many of them were too short for the dress they were wearing and/or their shoes were too big causing them to stumble! Here are the dresses I liked...please excuse the quality...a) the girls walked WAY too quickly, b) our camera is crappy :-/

I did NOT like this dress but HAD to show you this chick.

This is the fabisina punim! lol

(sour face for those of you who don't know any yiddish)

This was the only girl who walked and presented as a model

THIS is a dress I am definitely checking out!

Carmella by Maggie Sottero

This is what the dress is supposed to look like

Cheryll liked this dress!

I really liked something along the lines of the next few dresses

for our summer 2011 nuptials

This bitch! lol I did not like this dress but

had to put this pic up here because of her expression.

Girl must've known I was talkin' shit hahaha

All in all it wasn't a complete bust. I found a photobooth vendor and photographer we both agree on. Next will be the BIG bridal event at the Del Mar fairgrounds later in the year...something like 300+ vendors! WHOA! We want to bring Jordan with us so that she feel like part of the planning.

We ended the day by hitting up the buffet and losing some money in the slots lol It was an exhausting day!

Michelle didn't want anyone to see her food lol

This is why I love her hahaha

I DID NOT put them up to this hahaha

2011-01-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

During the holiday break, because I get the week between Christmas and New Year's off from work, we had Jo's BFF Aimee come spend some time with us.

I'm in the kitchen cooking and I hear "Mom...get the camera ready and close your eyes."

THIS is what they did! They got into my fedora stash and painted their faces to look like men!

Jo & Aimee dragged out hahaha

Some pictures from Christmas...late late late ;-)

2011-01-09T06:23:00.000-08:00

I didn't remember us taking any pictures but low and behold...Cheryll came through!

Christmas morning was spent opening gifts at home then we visited Cheryll's family.

Proud of her new cap

Jo and her makeup

Zoe trying to lick me haha

Yes we got Zo gifts too

She could care less that we tied this ribbon around her body lol

Jo getting her new Uggs

Later that day at Auntie Gigi's house

Cheryll's Inay making veggie lumpia...YUM I overdosed on this!

Cheryll and Jeter-Claus...this is her family dog! He smiles in every picture lol

That big dog is Spartan. He loves Jeter and tries to hump him haha

we think he's gay too! lol he seems to like Cheryll too!

This is Drew. Cheryll's 28 y/o grown ass brother lol

Jo with the little cousins, Madison & Meagan

We also took the kids to SeaWorld during the holiday break

Jo, Jade & Elijah

Jade is Cheryll's goddaughter...she is the sweetest thing ever!

Me & bug

Elijah & his LaLa (that's my mom!)

This is the only New Year's pic.

Cheryll & I stood home in PJ's and had couch time all day.

There are NO pics of us :-)

We sent Jo to Michelle's...here she is.

For the love of Aubrey London!

2011-01-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

I came across some YouTube videos of vintage hairstyles by Aubrey London! OMGosh...total hair/pinup/rockabilly porn!! I just HAD to blog about this quickly.

I have been infatuated with the pinup style and pinup models for so long. Once I'm done with my full back tattoo (by March hopefully if I'm not still being a baby about the pain lol) I want to do a photo session in this style. Now...hairstyling my own hair is not my forte. These are the times when I kinda miss my sister because hair was her thing...makeup was mine.

I am in love with her website and all of the links she provides. Make sure to click the header link for "pinup packages" at the top of page and you can view a video of a day in the life of a pinup shoot.

Cheryll always calls me an old soul born in the wrong time. I think I found my place in time :-) I would LOVE to take some pinup shots with a vintage car and tools and stuff like that because Cheryll's such a motor-connoisseur lol. Yes...I just made that up! lol

Ms. London offers a vast selection of information on the pinup lifestyle from hairstyles to makeup tutorials to fashion. I love how personable she comes off, practically responding to every comment!

Check her out here and drop her a line:

Aubrey London YouTube Channel Link

Aubrey London Website

Pinup Girl Clothing

Happy New Year!

2011-01-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

I'm soooo late with this Happy New Year lol but here's why...

Christmas was great though it flew by. I was happy to have many days off to be home and get the house in order. Christmas eve was spent at our house with friends and my mom was able to join us for dinner surprising Jordan.

I have to admit some things here...I'm not feeling all too "happy" yet in this new year. Maybe it's the "season" for being down or something. Typically I'm the more chipper happy-go-lucky type who peps everyone else up. But lately I feel like the world, and things around me, are just bringing me down man. And there just seems like there's soooo much to manage all around.

1st - Mom visiting...touchy subject. I love my mom but she came out here on my sister's dime and that posed some restrictions. See, my sister and I we don't get along and that's putting it nicely. She and her husband, although having their own "gay" lifestyles in the past (marriage of convenience? maybe!), do not agree with mine in the present. Oh they will spout some crap about our failed relationship being based on some garbage I supposedly told another family member (although I have proof of that email exchange and they are the liars!) but it really boils down to their organized religion and what it had bread them to believe about homosexuality and the sort. I suppose they even feel "cured" themselves. Who knows? But mom was staying at their place and was able to spend Christmas eve with us and one day later that week before heading back to PA. Two things suck the most about this. A) We couldn't see my nephews. I still sent presents through my mom. But we weren't allowed to see the boys. B) I had to deal with my daughters tears over not being able to see her grandmother again until next summer and how they had such little time to be together when she was here.

2nd - The work thing is kinda stressing me out although I don't generally talk negative about it but I simply do not trust anyone I work with anymore. Sad to admit but I feel like every time I walk into this building someone is up to something! Behaviors of some of the people I work closely with are so sporadic and questionable that it's making me sketch out! Not based in reality I'm sure. My therapist would have me look at the facts of things first, then focus on only those facts rather than the circumstances I may be "creating" in my own head hahaha Good part is that I've volunteered to cover the work of a colleague in another department while she is out on maternity leave. So if I don't get axed before end of March...I'm solid through June!

3rd - Because of all the work uncertainty we haven't moved forward really with any solid wedding planning. I still feel like i'm in the dream state of "is this really happening?" Sure we "talk" about a lot of little things with it. I feel like I'm the only one really really thinking about this wedding and having ideas. I know that Cheryll would rather keep it simple and elope lol Part of me feels like this would be the easiest thing to do too. I'm so stuck on this dream I've always had about getting married and having other people there...people who I love the most with me. I don't want it to be some big pomp and circumstance. I don't need anything over the top. But I'm finding myself feeling bad about the little things that I do want. Am I being selfish because I want something that I, not you or anyone with an opinion, wants? I've been vocal about things that I want. But also I feel more bad that Cheryll hasn't voiced anything really. I don't know anything that she wants. And this makes me feel really alone right now. I know she's focused on her work and the upcoming academy in March and has her own stressors...but really? I feel like I'm always having to work with other people's stuff and around other peoples schedules...can someone throw me a bone please?? I know money is always a factor and we are starting to save and can't make any major deposits yet (we really don't have to until fall of this year) but can't we atleast devote some "together" time into really discussing this? I have no clear "theme" or "colors", I have ideas, but without her input...I'm kinda up in the air with everything.

4th - We had the over-the-range microwave in our kitchen short out. I got to pick out a really nice one but yesterday was a hot mess at home. I had scheduled the housekeeper to come on a morning when Cheryll didn't have to wake up early...big mistake 'cause Cheryll had to jump outta bed when she got there. Home Depot scheduled my delivery for 9a-1p which coincided with everything else. Ugghhh it was nuts for a little bit. Cheryll was late to work 'cause she couldn't shower until Estella was done in our room and then the truck blocked the driveway, and she had a terrible attitude about it all lol which put me on the defensive and left me in a mood. The garbage disposal had also stopped working during the holiday and it's since been fixed but the outlet cover/switch is still exposed and I don't care that it's not the same color but the guy did so now we have to wait until he's available again to change it out and complete the job!

5th - I've started my 2011 Goals list and I think they are very practical things I want to accomplish this year...trouble is I'm sooo not motivated! When I'm home, after laundry, and cooking, and dealing with Jordan...all I want to do is lay in bed and watch TV!

So all this leads up to a big question....Could I possibly be a little depressed???

We're going to our first bridal show this weekend and meeting up with some friends. Let's see if my frown turns upside down :-)

When life throws you lemons....

2010-12-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks ago I found out that the division I work within at the pharmaceutical conglomerate I've been tied to for the last few years is sort of "phasing out". While we've been cautioned to be "responsible" and not tell others that the company is doing away with us entirely, what do you think it REALLY means when they tell you that "no new science is being funded"?? It means with their focus remaining on the commercials side of the business and of those 2 products (we only have 2 mind you) one product is transitioning to Europe and the other is going off patent in 2 years...with no new science, nothing in the pipeline and no portfolio?? YOU'RE DOING AWAY WITH US!!!! lol Love how these higher ups always try to be PC in their delivery lol

So none the less I am faced with an impending lay-off at work. Most likely by March/April 2011. My emotions are running the gamut again. I'm sad, disillusioned, scared, anxious, relieved (? less work right now), happy to have more time on my hands, etc. Poor Cheryll has had to deal with my emotional highs and lows. Now I'm not one who feels that what I do or how I make my living necessarily defines me but I think what has me the most unnerved is the fact that this is my bread & butter. I don't like to every depend on anyone or be a burden/stress to others. I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that I may have to collect unemployment and bring in less $$ to our household, placing stress on Cheryll.

Never mind the fact that I hate having to sell myself! Can't everyone just tell by standing in my presence how awesome and valuable I am to them??? hahaha

Back to the grind of tailoring my resume and putting my "feelers" out there. Uugghhh can't I just sleep through all of this??

This of course is setting us back in the wedding planning department. Now I know we have time, two years out now, and while we like our "date" it's not set in stone until we contract a venue, so all is still very much fluid, I have to admit that my spirits are dampened :-( I so very much wish to hurl myself into the throws of wedding planning...or wedding saving lol....ahhhhhh such is life...I'm sure my efforts will pick right up after this job situation is dealt with.

Our NEWly decided upon name!

2010-12-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

So while we were in Hawaii...I brought up this topic once again. For me it's important to make sure we have a shared name because let's face it, when you tell people you're married that's one of the first outward appearances they look for. Now I know some of you may ask why I would want to subscribe to the masses or why I would care about outward appearances and such. But hear me out now...

To me legally changing our names means that we are taking our union just as seriously as we want others to. It will make life easier once everything else is in line. We have to draw up our wills, file for domestic partnership in California IF they don't repeal Prop 8, complete our medical advance directives and power of attorney. All this AFTER paying more to legally change our names in California because although our marriage license from MA will have our new name, California doesn't recognize our same-sex union as it stands today. THEN Cheryll has to legally adopt Jordan so that Jordan can receive our last name.

Do you see all the BS we have to go through?? Makes my head and my stomach hurt all at once! But I would never trade a second of it! Being with her and being her wife is the only thing that matters!

Drrruuuuummmmm roooooolllllllll pplllleeeaaaasseeee

Our new hybrid name will be......

ABRIO

Short, sweet, to the point!

We decided our name out of two choices which Cheryll came up with and did a coin toss, sitting at the outdoor bar at the Hilton Hawaiian Village on 10/17 while drinking. Yup...us in a shining moment hahaha

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2010-11-28T18:29:00.000-08:00

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with one of my great friends Christie and her girls. She's going through a particularly hard time right now being separated and transitioning once again. I felt it particularly important to make sure we were all together for the holiday. I cooked a big turkey which was so moist it fell of the bone! So we don't have a picture of the turkey in it's full glory but we have pics of everything we ate :-) All in all it was a great day...got to watch Eat, Pray, Love together while the kids played and ended the night well.

our carved turkey lol

Lenah, Jo & Ella

Name Cards

Sean, the girls dad being silly

Cheryll laid out lol

Happy Thanksgiving 2010 lol

Happy Halloween!!

2010-11-28T18:07:00.000-08:00

OK so I realize I'm way behind here but this is officially the "HAPPY HALLOWEEN" post I failed to provide in a timely manner. Thanksgiving is coming next!

My friend Joy had a housewarming/Halloween party and these pics are from 10/30. It was a great night with the girls. Cheryll had to work and couldn't join us :-( Here are some pictures. I was a gothic vampire bride I think hahaha

The Girls!

Minky asked for it, really she did lol

Susan's awesome BOO cake!

Me & Joy

On Halloween night which fell on a Sunday this year, we took the kids trick-o-treating in our neighborhood. Cheryll bought a scary mask and hid behind the car in the driveway and scared the crap outta the girls when we returned home. I wish I had a picture of it...truly hysterical! Here are some pics of our pumpkin and of the kids that night.

Like mother like daughter lol

5 Things Not To Say To Gay Couples Getting Married - Via So You're EnGayged

2010-11-12T10:48:00.000-08:00

Came across this article on the website So You're EnGayged; a site I visit daily.

This article is so awesome! It reflects what I have experienced in responses I've received when telling family that we got engaged.

*******************************************

Natalie Prizel wrote this post a year ago but we thought it was a great time to repost as the engagement season is coming up!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Especially when it comes to same-sex weddings. Even those who want to be supportive often come down with severe foot-in-mouth disease. Invited to your niece’s lesbian wedding shindig? Here are a few common things to avoid saying to save you from being labeled a latent homophobe (or just to avoid an awkward silence):

1. You’re getting married? Is that legal?

The legal niceties of same-sex marriage are often not so nice. When someone tells you they’re about the publicly declare their love and commitment to another person, the don’t want you or the State to piss on their parade. If you’re trying to educate yourself on the legal status of same-sex marriage, check out HRC’s website. If you are burning to know right at that moment, at least preface your question with a hearty “Congratulations”.

2. You’re wearing a suit. Does that mean you’re more like the guy?

Rule of thumb: when you assume you make an “a-s-s” out of “u” and “me”. Gender expression and identity varies widely in the LGBT community. If a woman chooses to wear a suit to her wedding, it may be because she identifies as butch or trans* or she hates dresses or she’s having a fat-thigh day/month/year. When you get to know a couple well, you may or may not come to some kind of understanding of how gender works in their relationship. Then again, the mysteries of gender play out in a myriad of ways in all relationships, LGBT and heterosexual.

*Note: if you are unsure of someone’s gender identity (i.e. whether a person identifies as male, female, transgender, genderqueer, or something else), I think it is most often better to ask “How do you identify in terms of gender?” or “What pronouns would you prefer I use?” than making an assumption. Some people will be surprised and maybe upset you asked, but a genuinely well-intentioned question, with the goal of treating a person the way he or she wants to be treated is never wrong.

3. Do the Jews/Christians/Muslims/Wiccans allow that?

My mother always taught me never to discuss religion or politics. Well, not really, but if my mother were just a little bit more proper she might have. Religion can be a beautiful thing in the lives of LGBT people, but it can also be a painful one. If you ask, “Are you having a religious ceremony of any kind?”, most people will explain the ways in which religion and sexuality are being incorporated/reconciled in their wedding. If they don’t, wait till the wedding to find out. And if you’re not invited, I guess you’ll never know.

4. That’s nice that you’re having a celebration, but it’s not a real wedding.

This is just mean. What makes a wedding real? A marriage license? A minister? A $75,000 floral budget? How about love, committment, and community.

5. Isn’t marriage just a heterosexist and patriarchal institution? Why would you buy into it?

This question most often comes from within the LGBT community. LGBT people like straight people choose to marry for a variety of reasons: religious, personal, social, societal, etc. Also, LGBT people, like straight people, choose NOT to marry for a similar variety of reasons. You might not embrace marriage in your personal life or as a worthwhile goal of LGBT activism. But when someone important to you tells you they are going to celebrate their love for another, again, the correct response is “Congratulations”. Everyone should have the right and capability to choose.

Pfizer Gala - our "coming out" of sorts!

2010-11-11T16:36:00.000-08:00

So we picked up these beautiful dresses in Honolulu to prepare for my work gala which was the day after we returned from Hawaii.

I had previously made appointments for us with my makeup artist so that we would be ready for the evening.

At the dinner I introduced Cheryll as my fiancée to many of my colleagues. None of them reacted negatively, not that I suspected any of them would. Many were extremely genuine and came to our table to express their congratulations and meet Cheryll. Several of them were kind of shocked to find out I was even dating because that's a part of my life I don't share to easily with others (just my bestest who works with me too).

Here are some pics from the night. Cheryll looks so absolutely amazingly beautiful! I just know I'm going to cry like a baby when I see her for the first time at our wedding.

This is us with my BFF Michelle and her mother Kim

I love this picture! Wonder what she's smiling about lol

So beautiful! I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

Took a picture of our photobooth picture lol

LOVE her tattoos!

So many things we've done...so little time to blog!!

2010-11-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

Kinda bummed that it's taken me soooo long to get back to blogging. I have to be more committed to blogging consistently. I have good intentions...but life just sort of sneaks up on you in that way that leaves you scratching your head all bewildered wondering how time got away from you again!

So here's a recap of what's happened since my absolutely-most-fantastic-birthday-ever! WE WENT TO OAHU HAWAII! WHAT WHAT!! lol LOVED IT! I have the best fiancée in the world! She booked this trip for us in September, which was supposed to be an early b-day gift for Jordan but I have to admit that I was still in glorious birthday/engagement mode so I kinda felt that the trip was still all for me :-)

I so want to live in Hawaii one day. It is just as beautiful as they show in the movies and on TV and in print ads...truly paradise!

Here are some pics from our trip:

We stayed at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu on Waikiki Beach

Appropriately named the Rainbow Tower just for us! lol

View from our room

Jo at dinner the night of arrival

Pool time!

It was beautiful weather! 80's every day!

We decided our "married" last name over drinks and a coin toss! haha

Byodo-In Temple

Giovannis Original White Shrimp Truck - oh yea!!!

Dole Plantation

Luau Dinner at the Polynesian Cultural Center

HA! Breath of Life show

Cheryll chillin'

While we were in Honolulu we met with a stylist at Nordstom's to pick out some cocktail dresses/shoes for my Pfizer work gala which was the day after we returned. I'll blog about that in a separate post :-)

All in all...Hawaii was EXCELLENT!!

JUST ENGAGED AGAIN!! Birthday Brunch AND CHERYLL'S PROPOSAL TO ME!!!!!

2010-10-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

WOW! YES! AMAZING!

I knew she was up to something! I kept telling our friends I just knew something was up. See...some call it sneaky, snoopy...I call it intuition and being highly psychic sensitive! Yup...thats me!

So on Saturday, October 9th, I had this big brunch planned with all my closest friends. One of my besties, Amy, and her husband and new baby girl Haylie were coming for the weekend from Yuma. I had friends coming down from LA and Temecula. It was an absolute beautiful day. I planned this brunch at JRDN Restaurant in the Tower 23 Hotel in Pacific Beach San Diego. There was a huge street fair going on so roads were blocked. I was late because I just had to pick up my favorite cupcakes from Batter Up Cupcakes in Rancho Bernardo to celebrate with. We were supposed to start at 11:30...we started more like 1pm. But that was fine because they had the most yummy strawberry orange mimosas.The weather was awesome...there was music playing from the fair...the babies were dancing and I was surrounded by people I loved. I forgot my camera so I only have a few pictures from the day. I'm waiting on my friends to send all of the pics they took so I can upload them.

Me, Joy & Susan

Michelle had to leave early-ish to take Elijah to Disney on Ice so she prompted the b-day gift opening. I got some cool stuff. Then came the big box. Now, it was disguised as a gift from Bed, Bath & Beyond but I knew better. I had even brought a small clutch knowing that in that box was my new purse and I could just slide my old one into my new one :-)

Sure enough...there it was:

So pretty :-) But that wasn't all. Inside there was a DVD that said "Play Me" and when I turned around Cheryll had a portable DVD player ready. We popped it in and everyone gathered around. The video was pictures of us...starting with our first date at Disneyland, the Wild Animal Park, our trip to Magic Mountain, etc. In the background there was music...my fav Michael Buble song "Just haven't met you yet", then it transitioned into Gerald Levert's "I was made to love you", and ultimately Musiq Soulchild's "Someone". It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. There were lovey-dovey quotes intermittently strewn through the video. Apparently this is what her Aunt had been helping her put together over the past few weeks since she's been so busy. At the end it said Happy Birthday! Then the last two screens read "Tami Will You Marry Me?" and a "Yes or No" hahaha

The box!

This is us watching the DVD...

I swear I wasn't pissed or anything lol...love Cheryll's laughing here!

I was ballin' lol

When I turned to Cheryll she had my ring in her hand and I kissed her and said "OF COURSE!"

Then Jo joined us.

This is my beautiful ring!

Here are our rings together!

(Blue diamonds are so beautiful!)

So next week is our trip to Hawaii!! I'm super excited!! Then when we get back it's save, save, save!

We are planning on waiting to see what California ultimately decides in the Prop 8 BS. It would be nice to be legally married in our own state. But if they don't overturn it and open up marriages again by next Summer, we will fly to Boston and get our legal on out there. We're visiting my family for the 4th so we'll fly to MA, apply for the license, head down to PA, hang out and firework it, head back up and have our ceremony around 7/7 or 7/8 and then back to Cali on 7/9. It'll be small and just our friends from MA & maybe NY. Then I can get the fabulous Kelly Prizel to photograph our ceremony :-)

I also want to gather all my east coast besties to go dress shopping in NYC on 7/5 or 7/6. Joy will be there visiting her family at that time too and I'm trying to get Michelle to come out for a few days so we can all do this together! It's gonna be amazing. The dress I hope to find will be worn during our big sha-bang on 10/11/12, destination still TBD. We're kinda all over the place with this...last week I was talking about buying a house in 2012 and having a backyard wedding hahaha we'll see what we actually end up with. One things for sure...it's going to be amazing!!!!

XOXOXO!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!

2010-10-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

I turned 35 on Wednesday, October 6th. Leading up to this day I was wrought with all the usual thoughts of "Damn Tam! You were supposed to be married and three deep by now!" hahaha I'm really ok...seriously. I just get those growing pains from time to time.

I woke up very early as Cheryll had to be at work by 6 again...I got flowers from her the night before. Jo presented me with a very cute happy birthday note which she decorated with rainbows and glued to construction paper...pretty nice. It said: "Dear Mommy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you! 35 years ago you were born and the world was happy. Without you, I would not be here writing this letter. And again...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She cracks us up lol

When I went to make my coffee before I left for work there was a huge box on the counter blocking my way. I called Cheryll to make sure she wanted me to open this gift in the morning and yes she did.

This is what I got:

The dopest coffee maker ever!!! First, I'm terrible at making a cup of coffee. I like mine very light and mild. This machine allows me to make the perfect cup for everyone! With this baby alone I could run my own successful bed and breakfast...yup true story.

That evening we went out for Thai food...I've been on a serious Thai kick and can eat my weight in sticky rice & mango - yummy! Upon leaving the restaurant (which was really quite so I know why they did it this way) Jo & Cheryll proceeded to sing me happy birthday in the car and pulled out a card and a jewelry box. The card was so awesome and mushy and just the way I like it! In the box was a beautiful diamond pendant necklace...very classy and something I can wear to all my work functions.

Cheryll told me she had another gift for me that I would get on Saturday at my birthday brunch. I had a suspicion she'd gotten me this Michael Kors bag I've been eying since March but I've been a good girl and haven't indulged my purse fetish since May :-)

Disneyland Celebration - beginning of the best week ever!!!

2010-10-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been on here in a while. Work got nuts again for a bit and well, life without mom and a grade schooler has had Cheryll & I running a muck each week.

We started my birthday week with a bang! Last Saturday, October 2nd, Jordan, Cheryll & I went to Disneyland for the day which also happened to be Gay Days at Disney.

We had a blast and took these pics (below)...we ran into some pretty great t-shirts during the day. Our night ended with a great dinner at the Blue Bayou.

Fairies!!

I swear she did this on her own...copin' a feel hahaha

I love seeing gay boys hold hands and be themselves in public!!

Just Engaged! 8-25-10

2010-08-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

YAY!!! WOW!!! OMG!!!

Disneyland yesterday, August 25th, couldn't have gone any more perfectly! I was nervous and anxious in the morning...but as soon as we got there, it all left me!

The day was warm, the crowds not so bad and we were surrounded by some of our closest friends. We went to Tomorrowland first. I don't think anyone realized the significance of starting out here haha It's Cheryll's favorite area as Space Mountain is her favorite ride so I wanted to start the day off with a bang. We had lunch there, walked around, and ultimately I stopped in a store and had Mickey ears made for us that has a special message.

From there we headed over to the New Orleans area of the park. This was where I envisioned proposing. It's garden like just outside of the Haunted Mansion and well...I hope we own a mansion some day haha so I thought it was appropriate :-)

We set up the scene to take group photos by a tree. First a group shot, then individual shots of me & Cheryll with all of our friends, my mom & Jordan. I could sense Cheryll was getting antsy. So I asked her to sit with me on a brick ledge and Jo handed me the fortune teller.

She was definitely confused but I asked her to humor me and go along with it. She chose "turtle" first, then "I knew I loved you", then "Beginning of the rest of our lives". I had the ring tucked into the palm of my hand and I told her she needed to open the fortune tell to reveal her fortune. SHE SAID YES!!

So yea, I put a ring on it...first! lol I beat her to the punch...again. She thinks I'm the ultimate punk now. But oh how sweet it was.

I am so in love and I can't wait to marry my best friend!

XOXOXO

Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of our lives!

2010-08-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting on the bed writing this, watching as Cheryll is brushing her hair in our bathroom.
I can't believe tomorrow is finally here!! I'm very excited. But this wave of emotion has just hit me.

This is really the last night I will ever consider myself of one identity so to speak.
After tonight, starting tomorrow, we will officially be an US, to all. Two people taking the next step to ultimately devote their lives to each other in love.

This is one of the moments I have always dreamed of. I can't believe we're here!

This is more than I could have ever dreamed of for myself. Bigger, grander, more complete. This is how I know there is a God and He loves me...He brought her to me when I was ready. Timing is everything. Too soon and you're not prepared...too late and you may have lost the zest for it all.

I am so ready!

Today I worked on the fortune teller I will use tomorrow to propose to the love of my life!

Here are some pictures:

OMG I look TERRIBLE hahaha

So WOW! I totally can't wait!! Look for the video and pics by the end of the week!!!

I LOVE YOU CHERYLLANNE!!!

HOLY SCHMOLY - 5 more days!!!

2010-08-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

In 5 more days...I will officially be engaged to the love of my life!!!

I'M FREAKING OUT!!! hahahaha Everyone is in line...all participants queued. Lately I've been super way more emotional that I'd like to be. When Cheryll looks at me I well up and start crying. I'm thinking about this overwhelming feeling that floods my insides every time she looks at me that tells me she's the one. This is bigger and better than anything I could ever have dreamed of for myself. God's blessings have been so much more abundant...she is the best gift ever and I just don't know how to deal with all the emotion and love and joy I feel for her...so I do what any girl does...I cry hahaha

I had a great heart to heart with mom last Saturday. She offered to walk me down the aisle when I get married because after all, she's been my mom and my dad. I was like "you do know I'm gonna marry a woman, right?" and she said yes, that she almost lost me to cancer and she's not gonna lose me to this. She said that she can tell how happy I am and how happy Cheryll makes me. She said she respects Cheryll a lot and that she really likes her. I cried, hugged her and told her how much it meant to me. Then I shared with her my plans of proposing next Wednesday at Disneyland and told her I bought a ring. She knew something was up by how I've been acting. Jordan brought the ring down to show her and she agreed that it was very pretty.

Now to the proposal. I hope that while at the park I'll just know when the perfect time will be. I'm thinking maybe in front of the waterfall at California Adventure or while we're casually sitting on a bench. I plan on making my own personal "fortune teller" thingy personalized to our relationship. When we get to the fortune, she'll have to open it up and read it..."WILL YOU MARRY ME?" and I'll pull the ring out!!! Ahhhhhh my heart is in my throat right now! lol

They look like this:

I will post pictures as I create it. THEN I think something like this personalized to how we met, etc. would be an awesome game/favor to have on the table at our wedding!!!

Stay tuned....

Exciting (and scary) changes in this world!

2010-08-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA from this blog and I apologize. My poor poor girlfriend won't have much material to read when I turn her on to this blog :-(

The major changes in our LGBT world this month, August 2010, have been around the Prop 8 debate in California...our home state.

Prop 8 is the ban imposed in 2008 by California voters which reads "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." It became part of California's state constitution on November 5, 2008.

After a five-month wait, 9th Circuit District Court Judge Vaughn Walker offered a 136-page decision in the case of Perry v. Schwarzenegger, firmly rejecting Proposition 8. "Although Proposition 8 fails to possess even a rational basis, the evidence presented at trial shows that gays and lesbians are the type of minority strict scrutiny was designed to protect," Walker ruled. "Plaintiffs do not seek recognition of a new right. To characterize plaintiffs' objective as "the right to same-sex marriage" would suggest that plaintiffs seek something different from what opposite-sex couples across the state enjoy -- namely, marriage. Rather, plaintiffs ask California to recognize their relationships for what they are: marriages. Proposition 8 places the force of law behind stigmas against gays and lesbians, including: gays and lesbians do not have intimate relationships similar to heterosexual couples; gays and lesbians are not as good as heterosexuals; and gay and lesbian relationships do not deserve the full recognition of society." (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/04/prop-8-overturned-gay-mar_n_671018.html)

In deciding the case, Walker offered a variety of findings that may be as important as the ruling itself. Among them were the following:

"Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual. Sexual orientation is fundamental to a person's identity and is a distinguishing characteristic that defines gays and lesbians as a discrete group. Proponents' assertion that sexual orientation cannot be defined is contrary to the weight of the evidence."

"Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation."

"Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions. Like opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples have happy, satisfying relationships and form deep emotional bonds and strong commitments to their partners. Standardized measures of relationship satisfaction, relationship adjustment and love do not differ depending on whether a couple is same-sex or opposite-sex."

"Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals."

"Same-sex couples receive the same tangible and intangible benefits from marriage that opposite-sex couples receive."

"The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships."

"Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages."

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/04/prop-8-overturned-gay-mar_n_671018.html)

Judge Walker then issued a temporary one week "stay" on the previous ruling to allow both sides to present their cases against why his ruling should not take affect immediately.

On August 16, 2010, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals granted the Proposition 8 proponents’ motion to stay U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker’s decision, which means that same-sex couples in California will not be able to marry while the case is on appeal. However, the Ninth Circuit put the appeal on a fast track and specifically directed the Prop 8 proponents to address “why the appeal should not be dismissed for lack of Article III standing” in their opening brief. That means that the Court will consider whether the decision can be appealed at the same time that it is considering whether Judge Walker’s decision that Prop 8 violates the federal constitution is legally correct. (http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=press_NinthCircuitRulingonPerry081610)

My personal take on all this?? IT WILL NOT STOP ME FROM LOVING WHO I LOVE OR MOVING FORWARD WITH OUR LOVING GESTURE OF UNITING ME AND MY SAME-SEX PARTNER!!! GIVE ME A LICENSE OR NOT...NO ONE VALIDATES MY RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN I DO! :-)

It's been a loooooong week!

2010-07-31T21:14:00.000-07:00

So work has been super stressful...but I am trying hard to leave it where it should be so I won't bore you with the details but it has become more of a chore than a passion lately. Yea yea yea...I know...that's why they call it work, eh? But I used to really love what I do...now I'm just "blah" about it. So on to other subjects :-)

I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to propose and where within Disneyland. I'm going to call their wedding division this week to see if they have any suggestions/information for me. A mutual friend thinks I should take Cheryll to Snow Whites wishing well and have her close her eyes, toss a coin in and make a wish. Then when she opens her eyes I'll be standing there holding the ring. This is a very cute idea!

Regardless of the "how", I also came up this neat idea for the day...I think it would be cool to have us both wear these t-shirts:

THEN after I propose and after she says yes (of course she will lol)...we can change into these:

I know...super silly! But it's right up my alley and something I would totally do. I'm always trying to make us wear similar colors, shirts, etc. (see previous post with ALL of us wearing the "Marriage is so gay!" t-shirts at Pride.)

THEN....when we go to Disneyland for "Gay Day" in October....we can wear these:

HAHAHAHA someone stop me now...'cause I'm on a roll!

Got the ring yesterday!!!

2010-07-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

It's so much more beautiful in person. It's perfect...I hope Cheryll feels the same :-) We wear the same ring size and the fit is nice!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

I've decided I will propose at Disneyland on 8/25 since it's sentimental to both of us. It's the anniversary day of when we met and the place we went to on our first date. I have all our friends who are coming along for the day in on this secret. My friend TJ will take pictures (candidly hidden as I propose.)

I'm just not sure where at Disneyland I should do it! I have one month to prepare...wish me luck :-)

The Perfect Song...

2010-07-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight I asked Cheryll what song she may like to play at her wedding (one day...lol as if she doesn't know what I'm fishing for.) She said she wasn't sure; there were too many to choose from. I agreed.

Well in perusing the internet while she's sleeping tonight I found a perfect song. It may not be that kinda R&B type of song we love but the lyrics of this song are amazing...Nedra Johnson is a lesbian musician and she captures it so lovely...

Forever With Me - Nedra Johnson

Let’s stand before God
and those who understand
that what we do is love.

I’ll say I do
I hope you will too.
Let no man tear asunder
What God has made one.

Let’s trust our hearts
And live for our dreams
‘cause I believe my praying
brought you to me.

So I will not refuse
This blessing I’ve been given.
Though some may disapprove,
I’m in love with you.

And love is always patient
And love is always kind
And I know love is neverending
When I look in your eyes.

So I’m down on my knees
And I bought you a ring.
Baby, won’t you please
Spend forever with me?

Forever and ever
Forever with me.
Forever and ever
Forever with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOc9nLIRQuo

This weekend: Love :-) Pride ;-) Sadness :-(

2010-07-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was San Diego Pride! I kicked it off by volunteering my time with the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and their STAND UP FOR EQUALITY comedy event featuring comedians Dana Goldberg & Alex Mapa. HYSTERICAL!! OMG...I nearly pissed myself.

Then I went out with my new gay boyfriends Ryan & Moises (not a couple...but we all volunteered together.) They were about the only two I didn't know at this event because the others were a chick I used to date and her cronies...which we're all pretty nice and pleasant with me but the girl was such a meanie...I'm so glad it didn't work out uugghhh! Cheryll met up with us for some apps & drinks and we had a good 'ole time!

Saturday morning was another story. Couldn't drag my butt outta bed early enough and we didn't get down to the Hillcrest area for the parade until about 9:30am-ish. Parking was a biatch. We drove around for nearly an hour before finding a lot that was sufficient...but also about 1 mile walk to the end of the parade route. All in all it was a prime location because after the parade we were only blocks from our cars. We got to eat some good food...meet up with my FB friends from Closet Talk...and I think I even saw a few people from from the wedding blogs I stalk on-line! My friends and Cheryll all think I'm nuts with this blog stalking stuff hahaha so I'm forbidden to approach or otherwise make an ass outta myself in public.

Here are some pics from Pride:

The Fam

Jo on the curb

Ms. Jujubee from RuPaul's Drag Race!

We found my company at the end of the parade and hopped in for a bit!

Us with my BFF Michelle (her baby Elijah was sleeping)

Elijah & Jo

Me & Cheryll

Ok...so now comes the tough stuff. The weekend was grand until Cheryll got a message from her brother on Sunday afternoon telling us that her dog, Babie, was not doing so well. She had stopped eating and drinking. Babie was 16 years old and the first dog Cheryll ever bought with her own money. She has been Cheryll best friend for over half her life. We drove out to her parents house and I sucked up all my crap to be with her and support her through this. Her family was nice...met her mom, dad and brother. They weren't particularly emotional about Babie's condition but her dad helped us load her into the truck so we could take her to the emergency animal hospital. Poor Babie...she was so quiet, so sweet...she was ready to go. This was my first experience with having to put a pet to sleep. I've never seen Cheryll cry at all and it was hard to see her so upset. We were able to spend her last moments with her and it was very peaceful. I'm very proud of Cheryll that she made the decision without hesitation knowing that it was the right thing to do so that she wouldn't suffer anymore. I would have hesitated and possibly gone broke in the process of trying stuff that in the end wouldn't have made a huge difference. So now on to the healing. It's particularly difficult for me to stand by and just kinda be in the background while Cheryll's grieving. I suppose this is what a good partner does and this is part of the bad with the good, huh? Tonight we're gonna lay low, take my two doggies for a long walk and defrag. Work has been horrendous for both of us and we need to take better care of each other during our off hours. We're what matters most after all!

RIP Babie (1994-2010)

OMG OMG - I DID IT! I BOUGHT THE RING!!!

2010-07-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

I am SUPER emotional right now as I'm posting this (as if i'm not typically emotional HA!) lol

I have SOOO much to blog about but I need to start with this one as it's fresh and I'm in the moment.

So my baby's down today because we had to put her dog down yesterday (which I'll blog about in another post.) I'm at work feeling helpless. She's so sad and there's nothing I can do. So what does a woman do when she's feeling this way? SHE SHOPS!! lol

Now...Cheryll and I have spoken about rings, likes/dislikes, etc. In passing a few weeks ago I showed her this one and she said she liked it the best out of all! My baby works with her hands and she's definitely not the traditional kinda girl. She wanted something in an inlay setting, flat, won't catch on anything. Today when I went to look at it again...the price had increased. Now I've also been thinking about this ring for a while now. Even this morning lying in bed I'm telling myself, "Just do it! You have the $$ right this second...just do it!" So I DID IT!! I BOUGHT HER RING!!

My hands were all clammy and my heart was beating WAY fast and my breathing was icky lol and I was on the phone with my friend Shanda at the time talking about something else...she had no idea what I was doing until I interrupted her and told her to be quiet I had to buy Cheryll's ring lol...I started to cry lol What a sap I am!!

WOW...I'M SOOOO EXCITED!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO PROPOSE!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA WAIT HAHAHA

Let me just state for the record...

2010-07-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

'Cause I've been receiving quite a bit of inquiries wondering if Cheryll & I are engaged yet. WE ARE NOT!

However...I've already looked at rings, know what she wants, and we've already had discussions about weddings and marriage and likes and dislikes 'cause everyone and their motha is getting married over the next year, and we are "saving up" for some big purchase in the next two years of which neither of us has vocally defined. She's even suggested a cool date as a good day to get married within the next two years.

Here's my dilemma...I was thinking about proposing at Disneyland since that was where we went on our first date BUT another option is during our Hawaiian vacation in October that we're taking as a family.

What do you think?

Hawaii would be more intimate and it's one of Cheryll's favorite places. No matter where we do it, it'll be me AND Jordan proposing together. We're a unit and Jordan is very much involved in our relationship. She's super siked about this...she really loves how we involve her in nearly everything and how I'm allowing her to be part of this important milestone.

I hope she can keep my secret that long! Oy vey!! In my eagerness to share all these things I'm thinking about and planning toward...I didn't think of that little part.

Another thing is I've asked all my friends and family, who I let in on this blog, to keep this a secret from Cheryll. I don't want her to see it until we get engaged...she has to say yes first, right???

Then it will flow into a blog where all our friends and family can follow our wedding plans. I've been so inspired by all the other blogs I follow and I'm so excited to join the ranks. I couldn't think of a better gift than to share with Cheryll all these blogs as soon as she says yes! Ahhhh I'm so in love :-)

XOXOXO

By George...I think I've got it!

2010-07-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

As I approached my 30's, back some many moons ago, I decided that since I'm older and would be paying for my own wedding, I would not have a wedding party and do the whole pomp and circumstance stuff! Besides, I have several close girlfriends and how would I ever pick a maid of honor??

I think I've found a way to include all my closest girlfriends...I will ask each of them to read something of their choosing as a gift to us at my wedding. It will be great to see what they've selected and prepared to share during this special day. I want all my "girls" to feel like they're part of something bigger...of our love...because they were the ones holding it down with me before Cheryll entered the picture.

The countless hours of bitchin' and moanin' haha, and tears! So many tears! They should all know how much I have valued their friendship and how much I love them as if they were truly family. I have been very lucky for how each of them have influenced my life and how well they have loved me and Jordan and now Cheryll.

Oh...how we've fallen in love with CheryllAnne...

2010-07-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

I use the word "we've" because Jordan and I are a unit, a pair. She is my doppelgänger, a mini-me, but not in the ghostly way that word has previously been used. She emanates my boldness but has softer edges of her own.

It's amazing to watch Jordan fall in love with Cheryll. I mean, that's what it is, she's learning to love someone new. She's welcomed her into our lives just as easily as I have and previously, this was unheard of. I like to think Jo is at a phase in her life where she is expanding emotionally as her physicality is also growing, changing.

Last night we went to see fireworks with friends and as we were leaving I witnessed Jordan in her purest form. She stood up and hugged Cheryll so tightly. It was instinct and natural for her. Jo is not much for words when describing her feelings. It's always in her actions that you see this purity in her. My heart smiled.

They have a rhythm of their own. My girls are always conspiring and plotting things behind my back but not in a bad way. It's always for jest and laughter. Like the time about a week ago where I was walking along, la la la, head in the clouds and WHAM! Cheryll smacked my bottom so loudly I swear the sky roared and those clouds my head was in rattled around. Jo nearly collapsed in her giggling hysteria. They had apparently been watching me walk along for a little bit and once again, plotted against me for their own amusement.

And then there was last night before leaving to see the fireworks. I had such an emotional day yesterday which went from crying over equal rights and being a lesbian to crying over reading other lesbians love stories and wedding stories and all that jazz. I had just come out of my room and was hollering at Jo to hurry and get her shoes on so we can leave. Standing at the credenza in the hallway I glimpsed something out of the corner of my eye, turned immediately, jumped and screamed being startled in the moment and chucked my phone at whatever was there. It was Cheryll. Both of them dropped to the floor cracking up at my reaction. Jo knew Cheryll was there. I was not expecting her home at that time; she was supposed to be with her family. But my girlfriend is amazing and has been the only one in my life to ever anticipate my needs. I needed her, to be with her after my overly emotional ranting and raving of a day. I didn't, and wouldn't have, told her I needed her...but she knew.

I'm always trying to define everything in my life. Like it all needs to be so orderly and described in perfect little boxes in my brain. Categorized and organized. What a joke, huh? So I'm always thinking about what makes this relationship so different from all the rest. How is this love different? When I think about the way Cheryll cares for us, the simplicity of the things she does that speak volumes about her character, it overwhelms my heart. I figured it out last week...when I look at her in our most intimate moments just lying in bed and talking...this is the first person, first relationship, that reminds me of the love I immediately had for my child when she entered this world. Here I am safe, nurtured, exposed yet loved unconditionally. I remember when Jo was born how I knew in that instant that this was the purest form of love I had ever experienced and how sad I also felt that I truly believed that type of love could not exist between lovers, friends.

But it found me! Over the course of disappointment in failed relationships I grew tired, weary of all the clichés out there that we so want to believe in with all our hearts. Now I know what they mean when they say..."You'll just know when you meet the right person. Something will just click!"

I love her for what she is and what I am when I am with her. I love her for what she has made of herself and where she is headed and for what she is making of me in this journey. I love her for pulling out of me all of the beautiful things that make me who I am, that no one else had looked deep enough to find. I love her for taking the worst of me with the best of me even before our vows.

And I love her for helping me to realize that who I am today, where I am in life, and all I have to offer right now, in this moment, is truly enough for the right person!

XOXOXO

Why I started this blog on the 4th of July...well, isn't it "Independence" day after all???

2010-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday America! Land of the free...home of the brave! We hear this all too often. Blah blah blah blah blah!

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE MY COUNTRY! This is not a post about "let's hate on Obama" or "bless the troops, damn the military." We are extremely fortunate to live in the USA.

I've let someone who I don't even know affect my mood this morning as I reflected on a post in Facebook (of all places!) I know better...but this individual is family of my girlfriend and it triggered some thoughts. Ironically it's "Independence Day"...and I'm contemplating my own independence and what it means for me to live here, now, and how I wish.

I am a lesbian. This is my truth...as natural as tying your shoe is to you. I did not choose this...this is me! Most of my family and all of my friends are accepting, loving, supportive and caring of me. Their love transcends any ignorance or religious politics. But there are real hard sentiments, words and situations we LGBT individuals cross paths with everyday. I cannot legally marry my girlfriend in most of our states...even then it is not "acceptable" to many, whether legal or not. I get awkward looks when holding her hand in public or kissing her. And some even feel the right to vocalize their opinions in ways that are completely disrespectful (uugghh my sister!) or make comments about the travesty my daughter is experiencing by being raised in a home with two lesbians! The horror! lol Sometimes these things make me sad, like today, but mostly they give me strength and the umpf that I'm so well known for in my circle.

So this blog is a tribute to everything that I am and a tribute to this beautiful family we're trying to build together. I love my girlfriend and can't wait until I can call her my wife one day...she's the one!

Have a happy & healthy 4th of July people!!